Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
