dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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