Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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