I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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