Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
