Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
