Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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