you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
