Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
