We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
