If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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