Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize