We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize