all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
