I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
