He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
