I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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