so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's the barista slut.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
