but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My feet surprised me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
