You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
