One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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