How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
