I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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