Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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