he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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