I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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