there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
