Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my being single is dangerous.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
