I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
why is half of my head shaved?
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