i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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