My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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