Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
