Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
