Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
