if i can run in heels then i can drive
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
