my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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