big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize