You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize