sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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