Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
