I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
