if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
