just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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