I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
