I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
