I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize