so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
