i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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