I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize