with your own penis?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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