It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
