Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
