We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
