He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize