Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
