I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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