Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
