My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
