All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
