She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
