You just made me feel so damn special
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
